How do you teach children that you need to take care of the items you have, that it cost hard earned money for them to get them and do all that without screaming it at them!
Then I logged onto blog land and discovered this amazing post from Dee Construction and this is what she wrote in "A letter to those parents":
who are choosing the more difficult road of training your children to take care of their belongings - regardless of whether they cost $2 or $200 - i commend you.
who take the time to teach your children to put away their belongings - when it'd be much more peaceful to follow behind and just pick it up yourself - i encourage you.
who show your children that taking care of their belongings is a ultimately an expression of gratitude and thankfulness - i honour you.
who teach your children to know that, although most belongings can be inexpensive and easy to replace in our heavily disposable culture, not everyone in the world has the same privilege - i admire you.
who make sure your children understand that every single cheap plastic toy that is discarded has a long lasting environmental impact - i respect you.
...
and you, and your children, will be welcome in our home any time because i know your children will also respect our belongings.
stick at it parents, it's worth the hard work.
remember, you are raising adults - not children.
x
Thanks Dee, for the simple encouragement to find a better way to address this issue with my children. Any help would be much appreciated.
On a side note, for full disclosure, threaten them with a black garbage bag and giving their toys to children who do not have any of them own.
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| Because you can't have a post without a picture! Here's is Doctor Grace operating on doggy. |
Hey Jacqui, thank you for your comment :)
ReplyDeleteyou know, the fact that you're aware of wanting to teach your children to respect their belongings means you're already halfway there :)
here are some other things i do:
- talk about who gave the toy to them and why they were given it, and then ask how do you think the person who gifted it would feel if they saw you treating their gift this way (eg, nanna gave this to you because she loves you so much and knew you would really have a heap of fun playing with it. how do you think nanna would feel if she saw you throwing your toy down the stairs? and did you know that another way to say 'thank you nanna, i really like this toy' is by taking really good care of it?...etc)
or, if they have recently given a gift to a sibling/friend have them imagine how they'd feel if the sibling/friend just smashed up the gift when they recieved it. kids are naturally quite egocentric so i find it's good to remind them to consider others often.
we have 5 kids for our toys to last through. we can't afford to replace for every child, so often they are reminded to consider the sibling younger than them (especially with trikes, rocking horse, etc)
- on a more practical level the rule is to put the toy/game that is out away before getting another one out. (practically this just HAS to be the case in our home - if i had 4 kids pulling out toys/games all day i honestly would not be sane!! haha) this takes repitition and training. once it's established as a habit, only reminders every so often are necessary.
also, i rotate the toys. i put a bunch away and switch them out every so often. i find that kids play better (and longer) with LESS toys than they do with loads.
the rubbish bag is a GREAT idea...but kids are savvy and will soon realise it's an empty threat (although VERY tempting) so use it sparingly! haha ;)
hope some of this helps, it's worth the time and effort in my opinion. we live in such a disposable culture that the mentality of "it doesn't matter, i'll just get another one" is terrifying (and often even extends to people/relationships too doesn't it?!)... hang in there!
xo Dee